Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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