I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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