I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
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I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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