dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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