there's paper in my vomit.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I didn't notice because vodka
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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