i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize