You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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