I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My brain says no but my pants say off.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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