...so i touched it.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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