So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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