Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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