he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize