I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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