You made me cry and you don't even care
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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