She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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