Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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