He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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