What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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