quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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