checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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