I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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