i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize