i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am naked and annoyed.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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