just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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