I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize