i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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