I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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