remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
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Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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