Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize