He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
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and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
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There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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