Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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