he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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