it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize