I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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