i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize