I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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