It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize