Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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