Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize