It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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