I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize