allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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