why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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