6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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