Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
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Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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