Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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