how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize