i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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