u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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