I think my vagina is haunted
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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