White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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